That it wasn’t easy but it wasn’t too bad either
Things don’t really turn out the way we want it and that’s where acceptance matters leaving you with a lesson.
“gusto mo ba nak sumagala sa flores de mayo?kc kahit mahal kung gusto mo ok lng sakin..” summer of April when I received this exact message from my mama seeking my approval to join Flores de Mayo a yearly celebration for Mama Mary.
For a moment, I just started at it hesitating. “Eh yun nga mahal” I worriedly replied. Gown, make up, hair, accessories and everything we have to spend on made me anxious even if I’m not the one who’s going to pay.
She then replied again “wag mo isipin kung mahal, I will support u” making me agree to join. I reminded myself to not to worry, enjoy and embrace this one time experience. Excitement filled me, remembering how I used to watch those who used to walk in exquisite gowns every year in Flores now I’m going to be one of them.
I joined the gc, we had our first meeting and orientation, fittings for t-shirts for those who were part – on the second week of April, Sunday. I was nervous of course not knowing everyone aside from people in the church whom I’m familiar with. And it goes on every Sunday, short meetings and interviews.
Ever since, I have been known to be an independent kid. First week of may after our photoshoot in the church, I went to Manila alone and bought my gown and everything I need with my tita who lives in Manila.
I immediately brushed off my negative thoughts seeing how much it all cost. Fast forward to the d-day may 25, everything is all prepared while the call time is 3 pm. We just rode a jeep drove by my uncle. Arriving at the church seeing the other girls who will walk alongside with me in the sagala made me excited, we’re all are. “This is it” I whispered to my self.
But when you think there’s a clear sky to start the day, a storm will come to dominate it. And It rained “patilain po muna natin ang ulan, sayang if they won’t parade” the organizers said.
We did but it seems that the sky won’t cooperate, not giving us a chance. Hours passed — everyone was getting tired and they just decided to just let us walk nor parade around the church, thankfully it was big enough.
In full glam, white gowns with veil we paraded, took pictures, and had a short mass after. We went home still raining tired, little disappointed and sad. In my room getting unready I hugged and thanked my mother who went inside thinking we probably feel the same.
That night too she texted me saying “I’m upset nak naulan at d natuloy ang sagala isang thank you at hug lang ok na ko atleast na experience mo din”. I too accepted what happened even if it didn’t end up the way we thought it would be. No one was to blame, it was an uncontrollable thing. But looking back, I had people who supported me throughout; rain or shine.