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4 Ways I Cave to Carbs. The Simple Truth: I Cheat | by Eileen Dame | ILLUMINATION | Sep, 2024

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The Simple Truth: I Cheat

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I never used to cheat, but that’s because I never used to have any food rules. If I liked it, I ate it.

This philosophy eventually got me into trouble.

I had a little extra weight, but not much. In fact, in our newly chubby society — only 18–25% of Americans are at a healthy weight — I was considered slim.

It was the brain, not the belly, that did me in.

I struggled to follow and contribute to conversations. I’d put a casserole in the oven, only to discover I hadn’t turned the oven on. Or — I’d successfully make dinner on the stove… and find the burners still on hours later. I drove to, entered, and wandered around looking for my doctor of 25 years…in the wrong building.

Do people who develop dementia know they are losing it?

I sure did.

Clean, low-carb eating has reversed almost all of this.

Crazy, I know.

So why can’t I remain faithful?

I can count four different ways that I cheat. The one that causes real trouble? Cheat #4.

My husband and I have a 35-year tradition of Friday night pizza, and I stubbornly refuse to give it up.

I did look into frozen cauliflower crust pizza — the carbs were almost as high as “regular” frozen pizza. Why bother?

I’ve also made meatza’s, pizza made with a meat crust. Two issues.

  • One, I don’t want to cook on Friday night, and
  • Two, the meatza is the only keto meal the mister does not like. I think it’s a psychological thing, to be honest. It’s delish.

So — I cheat for pizza. Every Friday.

I will also cheat for my very own homemade-with-love chocolate cake on Christmas Eve. With a scoop of Friendly’s French Vanilla ice cream, a dusting of cocoa powder, a sprinkle of powdered sugar. The works.

If you’d ever tasted my Christmas Eve dessert plate, you’d cheat, too.

Those are my two official rules for cheating.

But…if I’m honest, there are two more.

If I am out to dinner on vacation, I will cheat for something special and rare. Bread? Fried? Rice? Cake? Creme Brulé? Nope, nope, nope… You get the gist.

But — a pumpkin ravioli sauteed in browned butter with frizzled sage and toasted pine nuts? I’ll have one. Not a whole plate, not an entree, just one.

I am not proud of this.

I recognize the slippery slope of the “life is short, eat the cake” excuse. The truth is, life is shorter and sicker when you do eat the cake. But — that ravioli bite was, to borrow from Prue Leith, worth the carbs.

And — I think I can get away with it.

Many carnivores remain staunchly carnivores because they have clear negative consequences for eating plants. The skin flares up, the joints ache, and the depression sets in. As with me, weight is not the primary motivation, but health.

They also assert that after a very short time, the cravings for sweets evaporate! Please, chime in, carnivores; can this be true? That the carnivore life that seems so formidable is not really difficult because you are no longer tempted by treats?

Hard to imagine.

When I cheat, on the other hand… well, maybe don’t ask me to balance the checkbook afterward. Otherwise, I suffer no significant immediate repercussions. Thus, I am willing to suffer the consequences of brain fog after my Friday night pizza because, after all, I am not operating heavy machinery. I am off to bed.

And still the cheats keep coming.

When I first walked away from sugar, I was sulky and resentful. After a few weeks of pouting, I discovered… keto mug cake. Hallelujah! That introduction to the world of homemade keto-friendly foods got me through those harsh early days of life without bread and chocolate.

I could have my keto cake and eat it, too!

But now I recognize that the license to eat keto-friendly treats is more of a curse than a blessing.

A very recent example. We invited a few friends over one fine summer evening. Like normal people, we set out cheese and crackers. However, the crackers were homemade, made from almond flour and Parmesan. Try this recipe from Carolyn at https://alldayidreamaboutfood.com/keto-crackers/

…if you dare.

Warning: These crackers are so good that I must muster all my grit, resolve, and willpower to step away from the cheese tray. No trouble in front of the company.

But the next morning?

Watch out, crackers, ’cause here I come.

No doubt, keto-friendly crackers are far superior to Doritos, but they do have carbs. And carbs from almond flour, just like any other carb, will cause carb cravings. On top of that, they are also made with cheese. The carbs in cheese are negligible, true, but dairy is hyper-palatable for most of us, including me. I can eat a lot of it — a lot — and not feel full.

This cheat is, by far, the most problematic.

By now I have eaten clean low-carb for so long that I have stopped counting my macros. I have my go-to meals established. I know what I’m doing.

Except for when I get creative in the kitchen.

Now, bacon and eggs are delicious, but I don’t dream about them all day long. I am not tempted to snack on them. I am not thinking I should reward myself with a boiled egg.

But if I know I’ve got a raspberry crumble in the fridge, game over.

I am fighting with myself all day long over whether I can have just another few crackers. Or one more cookie bar. Or a little ice cream treat.

When I fight with myself, I always win. Which means I lose.

And gain! Although the ups and downs of my brain function are not easily measured, my weight is.

I get on that scale every morning. I know weight fluctuates a few pounds. When I am not fluctuating but gaining, I finally step away from the almond flour.

A keto-friendly raspberry crumble is not a Twinkie.

I know I am worlds better than before.

But I am beginning to hate the cravings more than I love the treats.

Might be getting close to joining my carnivore brethren.

Close.

Am I alone in finding my biggest struggle is with the keto-friendly treats?

One of the baby steps I recommend to new low-carb-ers is encouraging them to find a good keto mug cake recipe. It helped me push through my early days of keto. However, now that I am a long-term low-carb-er, I wonder whether this crutch is fool’s gold.

What is your experience? I’d love to know!



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