Pain is inevitable, suffering is optional — so how do we navigate difficult times?
We may be hard-wired to avoid unpleasant stuff — ugly feelings and distressing thoughts, for instance. Yet what is a fully lived life? One of highs and lows, trying and striving — or flat nothingness?
As the Buddhists say, pain is inevitable, yet suffering is optional. Unwanted and uncomfortable thoughts and feelings are an essential part of life. These thoughts and feelings are inevitable — our “pain” part of the Buddhist saying. We then interpret and act on our painful and awkward internal landscapes. Yet could it be that the solution is the problem, not the problem itself?
What we do with awkward feelings (our solution) might create needless suffering. We avoid awkward feelings, distracting or numbing ourselves. We say or do regrettable things, reacting — not responding. There’s a big difference between reacting and responding. Reacting is without balance — lashing out. Responding means taking a breath and gaining centre before anything else.
It is hard to gain this vital balance in life. People push our buttons. We are not always our best and don’t have a buffer for bullshit. Yet a single calm breath and an intent to pause can open the…