Some things just sound perfectly reasonable at the time. Such as being perched outside a university library window.
Being the procrastinator that I am, I ‘finish’ work quickly. However, my novia did things a bit differently. Working diligently on an essay, she was still in the campus library, tired eyes glued to a computer that wasn’t hers.
I, on the other hand, wasn’t even wearing shoes. I could come in the library, at least not without running what felt like a marathon back to my dorms. I weighed pros and cons, and instead of being sensible and running back to get my shoes to go into the library, I had a worse idea.
Running around the building, I found a window that looked to the library.
The good news? I could see her, and hopefully she would see me.
The bad news? The window was directly behind a professor’s desk, who probably wouldn’t understand the nuances of the male teenage brain.
So, I climbed up to the window ledge, and waited, hoping not to get spotted. I looked like a cross between a sporty West coast beach boy and a hobo. Generally, not a good combination to be perched outside of a library in Texas.
I tried to be subtle, the professor wasn’t the person whose attention I wanted.
I waited, watched and waited some more. My girlfriend’s eyes still glued to the computer monitor.
I waited and waited, bored. The professor typed, the librarians talked, and time went on. I was questioning all of my life choices, when she looked up.
My heart jumped. Her eyebrows jumped. Her eyes were wide, a confused frown for a second. Then she looked down, a tired smile that could have been bigger. Finished typing, she then starting walking, out of sight.
I waited a minute, then heard footsteps walking towards me. Excited, my eyes lifted from the ground.
I looked up to see the lightly bearded of the librarian.
“Can I help you?”
…
Apparently, the faculty doesn’t approve of teenagers stalking their windows. Wonder why?
An awkward explanation and a short walk later, I was wandering the facility, thinking.
“You’re lucky I like idiots.” She said, walking toward me. Though I saw something in her eyes.
The walk back to the dorms gave me a lot to think about.
Two truths flashed in my mind at the same time. Two thoughts, seemingly irreconcilable.
— Number 1: She didn’t want to spy at the window. It seemed creepy. My actions could have been more prudent.
— Number 2: At least I did something. At least I had an action to regret.
What do I mean?
I mean that regret of inaction is so much worse than action. I’d rather have loved and lost a hundred times than never at all. Yes, it was foolish of me to perch outside a university window, and my forethought could have been better. I could have went in and talked to her directly, I could done this, I could have done that. But, the difference between doing something badly or not doing it at all is something key.
— Doing something badly can (should) give you wisdom to do better.
— Doing Nothing gives you no wisdom, no experience. You won’t do better because you don’t know how.
If you’re like me, you’d rather watch everyone else do karaoke than do it yourself (no way).
But doing nothing means that you will be nothing. Inaction out of fear is consuming. Granted I sound obvious and cliche. You heard the Nike slogan:
Just Do It
Sometimes, even a shoe company can get it right. But take it from a coward and a quiet runner.