We often include the phrase ‘I’m always here for you’ when we are trying to comfort someone. But I would be lying if I just tried to cover your pain with those words.
One thing I avoid or rarely tell other people is that “I’m always here for you.”
Have you ever been in a situation where you always think of perfect words and think that saying something can comfort someone? To be honest, hearing that phrase can somehow give us assurance that we have someone to lean on.
But in reality, it’s too hard to assure someone that you will be someone they can lean on when you are not always fine. Most of the time, you want them to feel that they have you. You want them to know that you are free to listen to their worries, struggles, or problems. But how could I do that when I didn’t even know how to manage my own?
It’s too hard to comfort others when you can’t even handle yourself. It’s really hard to be someone’s pillow when you are crying alone at night.
To those people who expect me to be their safe space, I apologize for not hearing that from me. Maybe I’m not the right one to hear all those problems. Maybe I’m not the perfect shoulder you can cry on. But I still wish that your pain and all of your problems would disappear. I hope you will be okay.
Maybe soon you can hear those words from me. Maybe next time you can run to me when things are tough and tell the sh*t about life. Maybe in the future I will have much more to offer, especially my ears and shoulders. I hope soon we can share the same pillow.
But for now, I’m still trying to be available for myself. This might sound selfish, but this time it’s me first (and I’m not sorry for that).
And to all people like me, it’s okay. May we all heal from the things that we don’t talk about and share. In the end, the only person you have is yourself.