I can’t sleep. I believe that a lot of my stress is rooted in uncertainty and my self imposed pressure and expectations. Success is not a choice for me it’s a must and the work ethic that I’ve been able to develop throughout the years as a byproduct of this mentality also unfortunately has many downsides. Many times I’ll refuse help from others even if I know I need it. It’s not an egotistical or prideful thing but moreso my own personal will of wanting to be able to say I achieved and earned everything in life on my own. I understand that it’s quite literally impossible to navigate your way through life without others but unfortunately humans are very flawed as you may know. Why should I put my trust into a person who I know can deceive, trick, manipulate, backbite or take advantage of me whenever they feel like doing so? Why should I put all my energy and love towards someone who doesn’t reciprocate the same? We’re all products of our environnements, but when that environnement is constantly changing and you live with such instability it affects you in ways that tough for others to understand. I feel like it’s also masculine nature to not scream for help and “tough” it out regardless of what you’re going through. It’s only upon deep and true reflection that I can achieve a change of perspective and recognize the fact that I’m still very young and haven’t truly experienced life yet. I’m talented, disciplined, and most of all honest. I believe these 3 qualities will god-willingly take me very far in life and help me reach the monumental levels of success that I dream of. It’s incredibly hard not to get distracted by what others are doing or by where others are in life especially with social media. We’re constantly getting glimpses into everyone lives, a very filtered version of peoples lives only showing the positives. Life is a constant war during which you sometimes get moments of peace and moments of defeat and pain. The toughest thing is to keep on consistently chasing your dreams day after day despite being in the same place you were the day before. All we can do is put our trust in god and keep showing up everyday to this battle we call life.