When it comes to love we often get it twisted, making obsession seem like passion and dedication towards someone. We do not realize that this act can hinder not only the relationship but the one obsessing even more.
It is a good thing to feel deep connection with your partner but when the feeling turns into obsession it becomes a problem that negatively affects lives .
1. Losing Self-Identity
There’s everything nice about being in a relationship where you feel like you are loved the way you love, I guess everyone deserves such in their relationships. The problem becomes when it all seem like the love is one sided, where the other loves uncontrollably so.
One of the things that happens when one becomes obsessed they usually lose their identity and individuality. This happens because they turn to be more focused on their partners forgetting about themselves. That makes one not to see her/his own self-worth and see their partner as their worth living little or no space for self-discovery and personal growth.
It is advisable for one to study themselves before getting into a serious relationship. You get to realize what you really deserve and you get to know exactly what makes you happy.
If you find yourself in a situation where you see that your feelings are slowly turning into obsession, sooner or later you’ll feel the emptiness and loss of autonomy. That leads to you being defined by your relationship rather than your interests and inspirations.
2. Jealousy and Insecurity
One thing that I leant about obsession it makes you feel like your partner belongs to you and you alone. Even his or her interaction with others will not make you feel at ease instead you develop feelings of jealousy and insecurity.
Non of his or her actions will satisfy you. You’ll be constantly questioning your partner’s loyalty and seeking reassurance creating a toxic environment, because in your eyes they’re just not giving you the same amount of love you are giving.
3. Toxic Dependence
In all my years of being in relationships I realized how tiring it is to carry someone’s emotions. Where one partner will take your words and turn them into what they assume because of their emotional imbalance.
When an obsessed partner now relies on you for emotional validations and decision making it becomes difficult for you. This now means you’re carrying the whole weight of the relationship. Remember outside of that relationship you’re still an individual and your being depends on your cup being full all the time. Imagine having to make sure that your partner does not breakdown, you’re literally not growing.
So what I’m trying to say is the other partner can feel suffocated by the other’s constant need for reassurance, while the other feels burdened by the weight of their partner’s expectations.
That is definitely not a relationship that can make one happy, it’s toxic.
4. Little or NO Boundaries
Obsession literally has no boundaries and this leads to unhealthy dynamics within the relationship. You’ll definitely find yourself invading your partner’s privacy, monitoring their social media accounts, or demanding their undivided attention at all times. That’s not love.
When you love your partner you want what’s best for them and not making them feeling like they’re always doing something wrong. The lack of respect for personal space can suffocate your partner and breed resentment, ultimately driving a wedge between you.
We all want to be loved a certain way and you can not force someone to love you your way but show them how you want to be loved by demonstrating that same love to them.
5. Loss of Growth
Healthy relationships thrive on mutual growth and evolution, It’s always good to grow with your partner, developing each other day by day. That makes the relationship even more valuable. On the other hand obsession can impede this process. When fixated on your partner and the relationship, there’s little room for personal development and exploration of individual interests and goals.
Both of you might remain at the same place for years. It’s like what people say “if you do not see the light in you, you’ll not allow the other light to shine. Both partners may feel stagnant and unfulfilled, leading to resentment and dissatisfaction over time.
6. Neglect Other Important Relationships in your Life
Obsession makes it feel like nothing else matters in life besides your partner or your relationship. You get to prioritize your romantic relationship above all , including friendships and family ties. This can lead to feelings of isolation and alienation from your support network, as well as strain those important connections.
Meaning your feelings are actually feeding on themselves everyday and at that time you’re not in a good state to be acting upon what you feel. Remember as human beings we are social being.
Neglecting other relationships not only limits your social support but also puts undue pressure on your partner to fulfill all your emotional needs.
7. Manipulative Behavior
This point hits home, I was personally a victim of this, good people manipulation is a huge deal. It changes one’s mental state forever if they do not get help. Obsession usually manifest as manipulative behavior aimed at controlling the other partner’s thoughts, actions, and emotions.
There’s nothing more dangerous than a weapon that is aimed to attack your psyche. This can be through guilt-tripping, emotional blackmail, or gaslighting, these tactics erode trust and undermine the foundation of a healthy relationship.
The other person can end up thinking they’re always wrong, it’s their fault you feel the way you do, and try to make things right by compromising themselves all the time. Manipulative behavior not only damages your partner’s self-esteem but also erodes the authenticity of the connection between you.
8. Rising Conflict All the Time
You know when you’re obsessed there are always issues you have with your partner in your mind. That result to making every conflict within the relationship, turn from a minor disagreements into major blowouts.
I remember a friend of mine always complained about a man in her life who always wants to fight over small things, and those things didn’t make sense to her.
Even when she tried to turn away from the behavior he always complained about, he won’t even notice it, because he’s constantly looking for something wrong. That became too much for her, she told me she’s thinking of ways to live the relationship as it was making her lose herself.
When every interaction feels like a make-or-break moment, tensions go high, and conflicts always escalate. Usually this cycle of conflict and resolution is tiring, and leads to a breakdown in communication and intimacy over time.
9. Emotional Draining
Relationships become very nice if one takes care of themselves, and focus on their individual growth so that they can be able to bring some positivity to the other partner. The other partner gets to understand how important you are in their lives as well.
But constantly obsessing over your partner and the relationship, can take a toll on your emotional well-being, leading to exhaustion and burnout. You tend to lose the motivation to work on yourself.
10. Fear of Loss and Abandonment
Have you ever felt like every time you try to make things work in your relationship you’re actually making things worse? Perhaps the most insidious negativity of relationship obsession is the constant fear of losing your partner.
Of course when you start checking him or her out; who they hang out with, what they do when they’re not around makes them feel like they can not breath and nobody wants to feel like that.
That fear of losing him/her can drive clingy and possessive behavior in you, which definitely pushes the other partner away.
Love and security are the main ingredients of a healthy relationship. It is important for one to enter into a relationship having confidence in themselves understanding who they are and what they want.
This post contains affiliate links. If you use this link to join a program we may earn a commission. Thanks.