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Self-Help Nation: A Reflection. When I began to consider writing for a… | by Alec Fraser | Apr, 2024

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When I began to consider writing for a more general audience, one thing stuck out to me: self help is huge. Especially when it comes to making money. That’s no surprise. When you get right down to it, the content on Medium that makes the most money is generally, through one angle or another, about making money. Or about being happy, more productive, healthier, etc.

So, we have no money, we’re not happy, productive or healthy. That’s the vibe I get from reading a lot of the headlines. We’re simply — not. We want to fill that not. From the second we’re born, society pulls us further and further from a feeling of oneness. This oneness is of course first experienced as childhood. This is not to discount the many miserable, horrible, deprived and abused childhoods experienced by many a poor soul, but I think many of us can understand what I mean by the oneness — the presentness — of childhood.

Why are we pulled away from this? Or rather, torn away from this? I’m not sure. If you want to discover that read more philosophy. In any event, “society” steps in and the change begins. For most people, our parents are miniature representations of society, and so we move forward fusing ourselves to their fears, habits, values and shortcomings. And just as naturally, we begin to reject aspects of them. Other spontaneous aspects of ourselves are also rejected or repressed, by either our parents, media and soon enough school. School was never meant to simply educate you — it was meant to mold you.

It seems to me that for the weak — for 90% of us — life is about getting further and further away from ourselves and selling ourselves, piece by piece, to the money making machine of our society. Basically most people lose sight of themselves forever and find the least painful way possible of fitting their awkwardly shaped being into the thing we call “society.” To make up for the emptiness that results we use distractions like Netflix, mediocre genre fiction, social media, videogames, too much time spent working out, escapist, consumerist travel, vapid socialization on the weekend with other empty people, alcohol and drugs, food, sex and pornography — on and on the list goes.

Photo by Fred Moon on Unsplash

This all goes without mentioning the fact that despite all the racism, sexism, and general bigotry many of us experience, if you’re reading this and making at least minimum wage in America you’re already globally considered “High Income.” At least you, reader, potentially have a chance of extricating yourself from the muck that your life has become. Most of the world is stuck underneath a brutal heel called “society.” There are many forms this “society” takes: capitalism; patriarchy; neo-liberalism — these are only some of the few words critics use to describe what form our current society flows through, but none 100% capture its essence, because there is no essence. It is a constantly shifting thing.

In any event, I suppose I have to focus on the fact there doesn’t seem to be any revolution or reform movement forming. Despite any small gains, we are heading towards war. Actuality we’re already at war. How does this wretched society overlap with our own desire for self-help? There is more “self-help” and business advice than before, perhaps because times are so dark, though I cannot help but think it is not doing us any good. Truth be told reader, this is only a reflection, not a well thought out essay. How should you help yourself?

Let’s return to the beginning of this reflection: I believe that everybody is born with some small gift of individual genius. If this gift is cultivated it will inherently be of benefit to society. The only problem is most of us lose it and cannot find it or we lack the time, energy or freedom. Thus, society — a collection of individuals — feels miserable and alienating. Nobody is really their best self. The best piece of advice I can think of right now is to be honest with yourself and begin the painful journey of finding what that little hidden genius inside of you is. Think back with deep reflection on the earliest days of your childhood and the things that drew your interest. You’ll probably need to do a lot of literal meditation, or go on a very long walk; if you can you might need to quit your job and isolate yourself for a time. Others might try psychedelic drugs (this can give temporary insight, but be very careful). Still yet others will have to suffer mental breakdowns. That’s okay. Let yourself break down if you need to.

My advice: return “home” and start from the beginning. Don’t waste too much time with the internet.



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