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Hello, it’s me again, Ridhwan. A Journey of Self-Reflection: Life’s… | by Ridhwan Nashir | Apr, 2024

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Growing up in a strict religious household wasn’t always sunshine and rainbows. Mainly because the lack of communication and understanding, I only feels praying was only to fulfill our responsibility to god and my parents command. I think their way of teaching miss the point on how to love and understand the reason behind it. Nevertheless, I’m glad that I used to pray, even though back then when it wasn’t from my own heart.

My parents always emphasized the importance of experiences over material possessions, shaping my worldview and fostering a curiosity that would fuel my journey of self-discovery. Our economy wasn’t good back then (even our house doesn’t have ceramic floor and barely painted), but they managed to afford a computer, an internet connection, and sandbox toys instead of a console game such as Nintendo or PlayStation (PS stands for ‘play satan’ they said ????).

I play a lot of strategy games such as Age of Empires, Command and Conquer, Roller Coaster Tycoon, World of Warcraft/Dota, etc. I mirror my brother by watching old youtube channel like PewDiePie, Smosh, MysteryGuitarMan, etc. It boost my problem solving skills and expose me to the English language.

Looking it back, a really wise choice by my parents because it shaped me to reveled in the joy of exploration and the thrill of unraveling life’s mysteries.

As I navigated the halls of elementary, junior high, and senior high school, I encountered a tapestry of experiences that would leave unforgettable mark on my memories. From forging lifelong friendships to grappling with academic rigors, each chapter of my educational journey brought with it valuable lessons in resilience, empathy, and self-expression.

Junior high — the breeding ground for mischief, mayhem, and lifelong friendships. I got the chance to get to the best junior high school in town (at least, it was back then). Here, amidst a whirlwind of hormones and homework, I forged bonds (and bands, called Vanable) that would withstand the test of time .

I learned more about life in those formative years than any textbook could ever teach me. And let’s not forget the extracurricular sleepovers at school
(complete with midnight exploration and ghost stories), student trips that bordered on the absurd, and the epic school farewell that left us all with memories to last a lifetime.

Fast forward to senior high school, where I found myself facing the age-old question: what do I want to be when I grow up?
(although it was a bit late to realize that on the last semester)
I found my passion in architecture engineering and was studying REAL hard to get there. My try out tests were also show promising results!
BUT despite my passion for architecture/structural engineering, dear old Dad had other plans — namely, enrolling me in Telkom University, where he happened to be a lecturer, because he say “if you choose engineering, then Telkom is the way to go”, damn.

Ah, college — where dreams were born, friendships forged, and sleep is a distant memory. But why am I here? it’s not the choice that I made (I was really upset with this for a while)

But hey, life’s full of surprises, right? While Telkom wasn’t exactly what I had in mind, but it turned out to be a blessing in disguise. As I strutted onto the campus of Telkom University, I knew I was in for a wild ride. From late-night study sessions to impromptu dance parties, I dove headfirst into the chaos and emerged with a newfound love for all things computer science.

Sure, there were rough patches — like bad break up, arguments with family, and getting scammed, — but through it all, I emerged stronger, wiser, and more resilient.

As I delved deeper into my studies, I seized every opportunity to expand my horizons — joining campus organizations, assisting lecturers, and diving headfirst into internships that challenged me to think outside the box. When graduation day finally arrived, I did so with a near-perfect CGPA and a newfound sense of purpose, so the journey didn’t end there. Driven by a thirst for knowledge and a desire to make a difference, I embarked on a fast-track program for my master’s degree in informatics.
JUST KIDDING HAHA, I was my parents will that I enroll for master degree.

When I thought things couldn’t get any crazier, I found myself knee-deep in the world of master’s degree madness. Especially when it’s not coming from your own hear (again), because I want to work ASAP and get some ????????????. Until I realized, the chance to enroll for a master is such a privilege that not everyone can have. So, here I dove headfirst into the academic abyss to fulfill my parents will and make them happy ????.

From late-night thesis sessions to caffeine-fueled study binges, doing master really pushed me, until it hits me real hard in the face. I’m down, unmotivated, FOMO, need some money, I need to get to work.

After tossing my cap in the air and bidding farewell to the hallowed halls of academia (temporarily), I was thrust into the world of professionals— and it was a wild ride. I started working on a Malaysian tech company remotely, and I was stumbled, fumbled, and stressed out HAHA.

In there, I’m doing new things with new technologies (Langchain), that I must learn from the very beginning, and if there was an error, most of the time there are no solution online ????(even in the forum discussion). I also take a psychology test that im an extrovert?? so, working remotely may drained me more. There is also my parents will that wants me to finish my master first.

After careful consideration, Ifinally decided to resign from my job after ~4 months, after Icompleted all the task and project that I’ve been worked on. — there is a moment that really makes me happy, at my last moment in the company, the product that I’ve built is demonstrated in front of everyone, and they giving me applause and congratulations. The feeling of all your hardworks getting a proper appreciation and also can have real good impact, is what I’ve always been want. I found that it’s what makes me feels fullfilled.

I found more about myself, especially my wor

I dove headfirst into the academic abyss and emerged triumphant (well, mostly). And let me tell you, defending my thesis felt like slaying a dragon — exhilarating, nerve-wracking, and oh-so-satisfying all at once.

I continued to finish my thesis and let me tell you, defending my thesis felt like slaying a dragon — exhilarating, nerve-wracking, and oh-so-satisfying all at once. Then, on February 26th, I was officially an Informatics Master ????

As I stand on the edge of the unknown, a whirlwind of emotions swirls within me. There’s a knot of uncertainty in the pit of my stomach, mingled with a tinge of fear and a dash of excitement. With each step forward, I’m propelled into a world of endless possibilities, where the only constant is change.

Armed with my newly acquired master’s degree and a heart full of dreams, I embark on this journey with a sense of excitement and anticipation. What lies ahead is a mystery waiting to unfold — a tapestry of challenges, triumphs, and everything in between.

But amidst the uncertainty, there’s a flicker of hope burning bright within me. For I know that with each hurdle I overcome and each obstacle I face, I grow stronger, wiser, and more resilient. And so, I embrace the future with open arms, ready to seize every opportunity that comes my way.

So here’s to the next chapter, filled with laughter, learning, and the thrill of the unknown. This post also coincide with the Ied Al-Fitr, marking a fresh new start!
Until next time, stay curious, stay courageous, and above all, stay fabulous!



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